Would you like a little encouragement for your stage of marriage right now? How about knowing what you could do today to improve your marriage? If so, then keep reading my interview with Alisa Grace in this “Mid-week Mini” post.
I asked Alisa: What is one line of advice you would give to women at different stages in their marriages?
Here is her reply:
Women in their first year of marriage: Now is the time to start laying a strong
foundation of healthy habits in your marriage. Attend a marriage retreat/conference at
least once a year from now on!
Married with young kids: Time alone together is a must: Spend at least 30 minutes per
day alone together and keep dating each other regularly!
Married with teenagers: Just remember: This too shall pass.
Empty-nesters: Couples that engage in new activities together report greater levels of
marital happiness. Try some new activities or explore new locations together.
I also asked Alisa: What is one thing wives could do today that would improve their marriages?
Here is her reply:
Get past feeling that you have to have the perfect body for your husband to find you
beautiful, sexy and attractive! Nothing could be less true! And nothing can be more
damaging to your own self-esteem as a woman as when you’re overly critical of your
body.
While it is true that we do need to take care of ourselves, eat well and get a reasonable amount of regular sleep and activity to be healthy, our men do not need us to look like supermodels in order to find us desirable! In fact, according to Harvard researcher Shaunti Feldhan, a majority of men report that they would be exquisitely happy to have a wife who is sweet and an enthusiastic partner in the bedroom! (Notice, I did not list having a thin, cellulite-free or stretchmark-free body!)
So go ahead and flirt with him. Send him sexy messages by text. And initiate sex with
him at least twice a week (maybe even with the closet light on!) for the next 30 days
and see the difference it makes in your marriage. Research shows that when wives
initiate sexual intimacy or are enthusiastically responsive when their husbands do, that
our men feel more loved, more desirable and like they can take on the world!
What an incredible amount of power we wives hold over the well-being of our husbands! And chances are, when we approach him with that kind of positive, anticipatory mind-set,
we’re going to enjoy intimacy a whole lot more, too! That’s a win-win for both of us!
What a valuable reminder (and maybe one we need to repeat to ourselves regularly) from Alisa that we do not need to have “thin, cellulite-free or stretchmark-free bodies for our husbands to find us desirable.” Can I just tell you how encouraging I find that? After turning 40 and having 2 children, let’s just say that my metabolism isn’t what it used to be. However, I know without a doubt that my husband cares infinitely more about me and our relationship than he does about my metabolism.
In our quest to be radiant this week, let’s intentionally take steps to strengthen our marriages.
If you have lost your spouse, would you consider praying about who you know who might need some encouragement in their marriage right now and reaching out to that person?
If you are unmarried, tuck this advice away because it may very well come in handy someday (for you or for someone else who needs to hear it.).
Go Be Radiant 