I had such high hopes at the start of the new year. In fact, in my post, Not A Resolution, I wrote about doing a “realignment” with God instead of a resolution. The idea was to spend time with God and ask Him what He wanted me to be about this year. I wanted to fill my calendar, in an intentional way, with eternally valuable things.
And then my 4-year-old got a fever — a fever that would just not go away. On top of that, he developed a hacky cough. A visit to the Doctor’s office was in order and the diagnosis was what I suspected and dreaded at the same time: the beginnings of pneumonia. Pneumonia! My 4-year-old? How was that possible?
The poor little guy was really a champ the whole time. Unfortunately he woke up a few times each night (which means Mommy, Daddy and little brother were also usually awakened). The sleep deprivation began to creep it’s ugly way into my high hopes and plans for the new year.
As one child was healing, another was getting sick. Yes, it’s true. The little brother developed a scary-high fever. No!!! I am typically calm in highly stressful situations…unless it involves my children. When the little one’s forehead felt like it was on fire, my heart began to race.
One week after our initial doctor visit, we were back, this time for a younger patient. After his exam and some testing, it was determined he must have something viral. Thankfully, his fever broke later that day and he was quickly on the mend. His sleep however, continued to be fitful, and mommy’s sleep deprivation increased.
Sickness and sleep deprivation sabotaged everything on my calendar. Or did it? Keep reading.
In my last blog post, All Things New, I alluded to another something “new” that I had found in Scripture and was going to share with you. I was so excited about it. It was something I hadn’t studied before and it was the perfect time to do so at the start of a new year.
What was it? It was a “new song.”
“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth.” Ps. 96:1
See also: Ps. 33:3, Ps. 40:3, Ps. 96:1, Ps. 98:1, Ps. 149:1, Is. 42:10, Rev. 5:9, Rev. 14:3.
It was definitely the “new” that caught my attention more so than the singing. Don’t get me wrong, I love singing to the Lord and worshipping Him in that way. But how often do I sing Him a new song? What did David and the other Biblical authors have in mind when they talked about singing a new song? What was significant about it being new?
Upon further study, I discovered that these songs were a way to express thankfulness and praise for something new God had done. David, and other Biblical writers, recognized God’s mercy and goodness in their lives and felt that those things merited a new song or hymn of praise.
The commentator Matthew Henry, poignantly noted, “What a pity it is that this earth, which is so full of the proofs and instances of God’s goodness, should be so empty of his praises; and that of the multitudes who live upon his bounty, there are so few who live to his glory!”
I, for one, don’t want to be empty of praises to my Lord and Savior. He has been so very good to me and continues to show His mercy daily. But to be brutally honest, with really sick children and no sleep, I was in no mood to sing God’s praises.
Exhaustion was weighing me down. Children, whom I love very much, were extra needy, and seemed to require what little energy I had left. Getting food on the table and dishes in the dishwasher seemed like a major accomplishment each day.
The new routine we were starting for the new year was already off kilter (in the first weeks of January!). I felt a sense of disappointment at not being able to kick off the year like I had hoped and dreamed. Sabotage! Or was it?
You know, for a while there, I did feel like my plans got sabotaged, until I remembered my “realignment” time with God. It helped me have a purposeful plan for the foreseeable future. Now, admittedly, I did not foresee my children getting sick. But, God did. His plans for the first few weeks of January looked different than mine. He seems to have wanted me to spend more time with my kiddos 🙂
I may not have had a song in my heart when I was awake in the middle of the night with one or both of my kids, but I am soooo very grateful that they didn’t have anything worse and that they are both well now.
Ironically, God’s protection over my kids is what provoked the “new song,” in my heart that I initially thought their sickness sabotaged.
Each week I challenge myself, and you, to “go be radiant.” This week, maybe that looks like having a new song in our hearts.